Bariatric Ballerina

It's about 8:45 am and my endoscopy is scheduled for this afternoon. I have a half day of work and then going home and my wife will be driving me to my test. It's been a week of no Nexium. The last 2 days with no Zantac and eating Tums like they are candy. What I don't know is if I'll be able to start taking my Nexium again after the test. I'm supposed to be recording when I get hearburn afterward. I will be carrying a recorder around the size of a pager. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. It always makes me nervous to go under anesthesia. I always worry I won't wake up. Can't wait to get some food. I'm on clear liquids until around 9:15 and then nothing. I have a tea and a water next to me. Today's test is at Johns Hopkins Hospital and although I've been there numerous times as an employee, this will be my first time as a patient. According to my scale, I have lost 6.6 pounds. My official start weight for WLS is 220. I am req

It's hard to lose weight. It's also hard to be fat. I'm choosing my hard now. I'm tired of being fat. I'm doing this prep like it's my job. I have notes, I have a schedule. Everything I need to do is going on my work calendar so I stay on track. I've been tracking everything I eat and drink like it's my job. I'm putting everything I put in my mouth on MyFitnessPal. I'm determined that this will be the last time. No detours or pauses. Tomorrow will be the last day I take Nexium in preparation for my endoscopy next week. This is going to be tough. I can still take Zantac or Pepcid until 2 days before the procedure. Then I have to tough it out. I had a whole day at home today and I needed it. I watched the women's world cup soccer game final. USA wins again. I got my dresser drawers organized and pretty much took out anything I can't wear anymore. I decided that as I lose, I will get new clothes. I really want to purge everything that

So yesterday was my first nutrition class. The subject was meal planning. It starts with being weighed in and then I was shown to a conference room where the day's class would begin. I have 5 of these and then the last month I have a 1 on 1 with a nutritionist.  One hour of some good information and discussion. At the end you have to come up with 3-4 goals for the next month. Mine is drinking 8 glasses of water, tracking my food and exercise, putting aside 30 minutes to plan meals and walking 30 minutes 3 times a week. I tracked my breakfast this morning and drank 2 cups of water. Saturday I will plan my meals for the next week. I will get 30 minutes of walking in this evening after it gets cooler. It's the 4th of July. I'm going to a get-together at my sister-in-laws today and there will be lots of delicious and fattening food. I plan to bring chicken and a veggie platter. Fortunately, they are trying to eat better as well and will have fruit and meat platters.  Hoping

So why am I doing this? What's the purpose of putting myself through major surgery, psych evals, 6 months of weigh ins and logging food, liquid diets, pain, etc.? 1. Health - Unfortunately my family has a history of health issues. Diabetes, high blood pressure, arthritis, stomach ulcers, obesity, etc. I don't want to be diabetic, I don't want to have high blood pressure, I don't want my joints to ache because there's too much weight on them. 2. Life - I want to enjoy it, and not have to sit out on things that I can't do because I'm overweight. I want to climb the mountain, ride the roller coaster, swim, dance, and run if I want to. I want to not have any physical barriers to what I want to do. 3. Clothes - Let's be honest, clothes look cuter in smaller sizes, and without rolls underneath. The plus size clothes section is small and frumpy in most places. I also have a little dress that I bought in Las Vegas from a cute boutique years ago.

This is a big question for me. So RNY (bypass) is what most people think of when they think of bariatric surgery. It's redoing the plumbing so that some calories are not absorbed (bypassing the stomach) and attaching a small pouch to the intestines so you can eat less. It's considered the "gold standard" in weight loss surgery. The sleeve (Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy) or VSG is reducing the size of the stomach (and removing 80% of it) making it the size of a small banana. This, of course, reduces the amount of food you can eat and prompts hormonal changes that aid in losing weight. (See drawing below) There are benefits and drawbacks for each. The drawback for the bypass is there are some people who have absorption issues and some have issues with dumping (sweats, diarrhea, vomiting, nausea). The benefit is that you lose slightly more weight with the bypass (50-80% on average of excess weight). The sleeve has the drawback of increased reflux and is not as effe

I used to be Young and Skinny: I grew up skinny and was pretty much thin into my 20's. When I looked good (as in my teens above) I weighed in the area of 110. I still thought I was fat. I don't know what fun house mirror I was looking into, but I dieted my way to 220. I would lose (getting down to an anorexic 95) and then gain back and then some. Yo-yo dieting was the end of my lean years. After a while, I stopped caring about how fat I got.  This is me 5 1/2 years ago at my wedding, looking nothing like the skinny girl above. I know 110 is pretty much an impossibility at this point, so my goal is to get myself down to a BMI that is "normal" and not "morbidly obese" or "Obese" or even "overweight". Like I said before, I need to change my relationship with food, with exercise and with my self.  Definitely need to work on the self-love part.  There is a lot of work in front of me and it doesn't stop when I enter t