100 pounds in 30 years

I used to be Young and Skinny:

I grew up skinny and was pretty much thin into my 20's. When I looked good (as in my teens above) I weighed in the area of 110. I still thought I was fat. I don't know what fun house mirror I was looking into, but I dieted my way to 220. I would lose (getting down to an anorexic 95) and then gain back and then some. Yo-yo dieting was the end of my lean years. After a while, I stopped caring about how fat I got.

This is me 5 1/2 years ago at my wedding, looking nothing like the skinny girl above.

I know 110 is pretty much an impossibility at this point, so my goal is to get myself down to a BMI that is "normal" and not "morbidly obese" or "Obese" or even "overweight". Like I said before, I need to change my relationship with food, with exercise and with my self. Definitely need to work on the self-love part.

There is a lot of work in front of me and it doesn't stop when I enter the OR. It is only the beginning. The work will never stop because I will need to fight the battle the rest of my life. I just need to get it to be a habit, make it something that is done automatically, like putting on a seat belt or looking both ways before crossing a street. Something that will, in the end, save my life.

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Endoscopy Day

It's about 8:45 am and my endoscopy is scheduled for this afternoon. I have a half day of work and then going home and my wife will be driving me to my test. It's been a week of no Nexium. The last 2 days with no Zantac and eating Tums like they are candy. What I don't know is if I'll be able to start taking my Nexium again after the test. I'm supposed to be recording when I get hearburn afterward. I will be carrying a recorder around the size of a pager. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. It always makes me nervous to go under anesthesia. I always worry I won't wake up. Can't wait to get some food. I'm on clear liquids until around 9:15 and then nothing. I have a tea and a water next to me. Today's test is at Johns Hopkins Hospital and although I've been there numerous times as an employee, this will be my first time as a patient. According to my scale, I have lost 6.6 pounds. My official start weight for WLS is 220. I am req

Back again

So this week was a mess. I didn't track my food as I should because I was preoccupied with the pH Monitor that I was wearing until yesterday. No antacids, no Nexium until yesterday at 4:30. It was a very uncomfortable week. With the pH thing in my esophagus, it's really hard to eat because things feel like they're getting stuck. It's supposed to fall away within a week to 10 days. I hope it's soon. The good part is it slowed down my eating a lot. I couldn't drink soda because it irritated my throat and I lost weight. I'm down to 211 this morning according to my scale. My high weight on my scale is 221 so I've lost 10 pounds, though officially I am down 9 pounds per my doctor's official weight. I'm back to tracking this morning and hope to get back to exercise as well. It's a damn heat wave here though. Could get to 100 today, with heat index of 110-115. Not exactly encouraging for moving outside. I may get some yoga in later, in the comfort

First nutrition class & July 4th

So yesterday was my first nutrition class. The subject was meal planning. It starts with being weighed in and then I was shown to a conference room where the day's class would begin. I have 5 of these and then the last month I have a 1 on 1 with a nutritionist. One hour of some good information and discussion. At the end you have to come up with 3-4 goals for the next month. Mine is drinking 8 glasses of water, tracking my food and exercise, putting aside 30 minutes to plan meals and walking 30 minutes 3 times a week. I tracked my breakfast this morning and drank 2 cups of water. Saturday I will plan my meals for the next week. I will get 30 minutes of walking in this evening after it gets cooler. It's the 4th of July. I'm going to a get-together at my sister-in-laws today and there will be lots of delicious and fattening food. I plan to bring chicken and a veggie platter. Fortunately, they are trying to eat better as well and will have fruit and meat platters. Hoping

Bariatric Ballerina

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