100 pounds in 30 years

I used to be Young and Skinny:

I grew up skinny and was pretty much thin into my 20's. When I looked good (as in my teens above) I weighed in the area of 110. I still thought I was fat. I don't know what fun house mirror I was looking into, but I dieted my way to 220. I would lose (getting down to an anorexic 95) and then gain back and then some. Yo-yo dieting was the end of my lean years. After a while, I stopped caring about how fat I got.

This is me 5 1/2 years ago at my wedding, looking nothing like the skinny girl above.

I know 110 is pretty much an impossibility at this point, so my goal is to get myself down to a BMI that is "normal" and not "morbidly obese" or "Obese" or even "overweight". Like I said before, I need to change my relationship with food, with exercise and with my self. Definitely need to work on the self-love part.

There is a lot of work in front of me and it doesn't stop when I enter the OR. It is only the beginning. The work will never stop because I will need to fight the battle the rest of my life. I just need to get it to be a habit, make it something that is done automatically, like putting on a seat belt or looking both ways before crossing a street. Something that will, in the end, save my life.

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In the beginning...

I started this blog to document my journey to weight loss surgery. I started this journey once before about 5 years ago, but never went through with it. I wasn't ready. I am now. I'm ready to stop being 220 pounds and 5'2". (BMI 40, BTW) I'm tired of never having any energy for the things I love, most of all dance. I have always been a dancer. I plan to do it the rest of my life, but at 220 pounds, it's tough. I am in pain all the time. I am out of breath, I don't have energy for dance or my dancers (I teach dance part-time). My legs and feet are always swollen, I am pre-diabetic as of my last yearly physical. I am on 2 BP meds and have fierce reflux if I don't take a daily pill. Plus, I'm tired of being the fat dancer. I'm tired of hoping costumes will look halfway decent on me and that they will cover what needs to be covered. So Monday, I met with my bariatric surgeon and started the process. It starts with making 8-10 appointments for v...

First nutrition class & July 4th

So yesterday was my first nutrition class. The subject was meal planning. It starts with being weighed in and then I was shown to a conference room where the day's class would begin. I have 5 of these and then the last month I have a 1 on 1 with a nutritionist. One hour of some good information and discussion. At the end you have to come up with 3-4 goals for the next month. Mine is drinking 8 glasses of water, tracking my food and exercise, putting aside 30 minutes to plan meals and walking 30 minutes 3 times a week. I tracked my breakfast this morning and drank 2 cups of water. Saturday I will plan my meals for the next week. I will get 30 minutes of walking in this evening after it gets cooler. It's the 4th of July. I'm going to a get-together at my sister-in-laws today and there will be lots of delicious and fattening food. I plan to bring chicken and a veggie platter. Fortunately, they are trying to eat better as well and will have fruit and meat platters. Hoping...

Goals

So why am I doing this? What's the purpose of putting myself through major surgery, psych evals, 6 months of weigh ins and logging food, liquid diets, pain, etc.? 1. Health - Unfortunately my family has a history of health issues. Diabetes, high blood pressure, arthritis, stomach ulcers, obesity, etc. I don't want to be diabetic, I don't want to have high blood pressure, I don't want my joints to ache because there's too much weight on them. 2. Life - I want to enjoy it, and not have to sit out on things that I can't do because I'm overweight. I want to climb the mountain, ride the roller coaster, swim, dance, and run if I want to. I want to not have any physical barriers to what I want to do. 3. Clothes - Let's be honest, clothes look cuter in smaller sizes, and without rolls underneath. The plus size clothes section is small and frumpy in most places. I also have a little dress that I bought in Las Vegas from a cute boutique years ago....

Bariatric Ballerina

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