100 pounds in 30 years

I used to be Young and Skinny:

I grew up skinny and was pretty much thin into my 20's. When I looked good (as in my teens above) I weighed in the area of 110. I still thought I was fat. I don't know what fun house mirror I was looking into, but I dieted my way to 220. I would lose (getting down to an anorexic 95) and then gain back and then some. Yo-yo dieting was the end of my lean years. After a while, I stopped caring about how fat I got.

This is me 5 1/2 years ago at my wedding, looking nothing like the skinny girl above.

I know 110 is pretty much an impossibility at this point, so my goal is to get myself down to a BMI that is "normal" and not "morbidly obese" or "Obese" or even "overweight". Like I said before, I need to change my relationship with food, with exercise and with my self. Definitely need to work on the self-love part.

There is a lot of work in front of me and it doesn't stop when I enter the OR. It is only the beginning. The work will never stop because I will need to fight the battle the rest of my life. I just need to get it to be a habit, make it something that is done automatically, like putting on a seat belt or looking both ways before crossing a street. Something that will, in the end, save my life.

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